Love

I'll be honest. I have had my fair share of ups and downs in the past few months. Life isn't always easy and I'm finding this out more and more with each passing day. I was inspired to write today because I feel like I can express myself better this way rather than in person. I'm not sure if this is a good thing, but I don't really care. Truth is, sometimes I say things and right after, I'm like "why did I say this?" I know I'm not the only one that does this, but I feel like I second-guess myself way too much. I overestimate things and worry. This is a constant battle and I'm trying to fight it as hard as I can. Most times I feel that I am alone in doing this, but I know that everyone does the same, even though they may be better at hiding it than I am.

That being said, despite my faults, I love. I am not perfect in any way, shape, or form. I have weaknesses. However, if I had to name one of my biggest strengths, it is the ability to love. I have so much love to give and often times, I feel like I have nowhere to put it. I'm not just talking about romantic love, but all kinds of love. Love is an interesting thing. It can be as sweet as sugar, but it can sting like a bee. I have been through a lot when it comes to love. Lately, I wonder if I will ever truly find love. I worry that I won't find someone that will match my ability to love. These are thoughts that overcome me and haunt me while I'm trying to do the simplest of tasks. I cannot shake them. I have simply become obsessed with the idea.

Remember when you were little and you got a double scoop of chocolate ice cream in a big waffle cone on a hot, summer day? Remember how happy and content you were when you got it? Well, you're eating it and you are feeling the rich, creamy, caloric goodness on your tongue and then all of a sudden, your ice cream drops to the ground. Remember that devastating feeling you experienced when that happened? This is how I've felt lately. Have you ever had something so perfect for just a split second and then it suddenly disappeared? I have. The question I have been asking myself recently is "how do you come back from that?" The answer, my friends, is love.

I have found that you have to be able to love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you won't be able to let go of anything that has hurt you in the past. You deserve the very very best. All of you. You, my friend, who is taking sweet time out of your day to read my post, deserve the absolute best. I don't care who you are. I don't care if you are my worst enemy. I wish the best for everyone because I believe that they deserve happiness. Don't waste your time wondering what could be and what could have been. You will make yourself sick and exhausted. You will miss things going on around you and later, you may look back with regret. Live in the moment. Try to be optimistic no matter what is going on right now in your life. Today is your day. Live it to the fullest. Don't dwell on the past. Don't let those who have made you feel small win. You are stronger than you think you are.

If you take anything from this blog post, I hope you know that you are loved. You may not feel loved in the way you want to feel loved and that's okay. Don't beat yourself up. You deserve the best. :)